Find Soul Mate - When To Move To The Next Step

Find Soul Mate Move to the Next Step

Most people I know, that is both men and women, are confused about how to go about moving to the next level. Whether this be when to kiss, when to say "I love you" or when too.. well you know.

Sometimes you have it easy and your partner makes all the moves and you are perfectly comfortable withe speed of things. This is a pleasant surprise when it happens although it rarely does. Its either someone moving to fast or to slow. The problem is if you or they, are unhappy about the speed of things it might cause a break up.

Now to avoid this finality to things, or whatever it might happen after such an event I have found the single thing that will ALWAYS alleviate this problem. Now this is in no way saying that it will slow down, or speed up, your partner. But you will have a better idea of how fast or slow things ARE moving.

This one thing is called... COMMUNICATION! That's right, just ask! Or sit down and talk about it. It might seem a little embarrassing but its much more important that you both KNOW you can talk to each other about ANYTHING, including where and how fast your relationship is going.

This is especially important in the beginning as well. Knowing how fast or slow you partner would like to take things makes things much easier on YOU, because then YOU KNOW when things should be moving forward and if they aren't you can give them a little nudge and not be worried about the consequences because you already talked about it!

I have always asked a girl if I could kiss her, and never once been turned down or told no. But I know tons of guys that "go for it" and get rejected. At least if she tells you know you don't look stupid or accidentally kiss her purse or something when she turns away.

So always remember to keep those lines of communication open and that will help to grow a healthy happy relationship!

Find Soul Mate - Dating Game

Find you Soul Mate - Playing the Dating Game

A lot of guys, and myself included, seem to believe in this unspoken set of rules that make up the "dating game." Such ridiculousness includes how many days to wait before calling that phone number, how many dates to wait until "going for it," what kind of kiss to give, and whether or not your girl is into you.

Well let me expand upon those for a minute to give a better understanding of these rules, in case you decide to ignore them that is. We will start with when to call.

Most men when they get a phone number form a really gorgeous gal want to call her right away so that they can see her again and possibly move the relationship forward. However this is a big "NO NO." The reason why you MUST wait is because you DO NOT want to come across as NEEDY, DESPERATE, or BORED. The desire to call might be great but if she thinks that all you have going on for you right now is her phone number and nothing else she probably wont be interested. You MUST give the impression of being busy AND that she is not eh greatest thing in the world that just happened because then you will appear desperate. The last thing anybody wants is to be dating someone who is desperate. So wait a day or two, then call, and CALL ONLY ONCE. Give them a chance to call you back. If you never get a call back wait a week then try again, sometimes people are just busy or are away, or whatever. The point is you DONT know so don't harass someone by calling them everyday, or even worse every hour. Just wait, patience is a virtue and it will payoff.

Lets say you8 get the call back, the best thing to do is not ask them when you would like to meet again its to let them know you are already going out again, maybe in the next few fays or the next weekend and ask if they want to join you. Remember they want to be with somebody who does things, not just waits around for life to happen. Also if she knows you are going out again she might be more inclined to join you or meet you there instead of let her "fish" get caught by someone else's net.

After you have gone out a couple times, either by her joining you or you joining her, then you can ask if she would like to go somewhere more personal. Remember we aren't really trying to just get "laid" we are trying to find your soul mate. The only way this can happen is if you take the time to get to know them first. Without this the relationship will seem, and most likely be shallow, at least in the beginning.

Never kiss a girl if she seems distant or distracted wait till you FEEL her comfort zone accept you. This is kind of hard to explain, the other option is to just ask her. No girl I have ever known has been offended by me asking if I could kiss her, its only when you do it and they aren't comfortable with you yet that they get offended and often want nothing to do with you.

So just remember be calm, be patient, and wait, because just like momma always said. Good things come to those who wait.

Find Soul Mate - Peacocking

Find Soul Mate - Peacocking

I have mentioned this in one of my previous posts and now I am going to expand on it just a little. For those who are unfamiliar with a peacock it is a type of bird with elegant feathers that each have a different color. It spreads them out in order to attract a mate.

This is not to far from the truth as to what peacocking is called. This is more geared towards men but I am sure it can be adapted to be used by women with some creative thinking.

This is one of the player's most well known secret, although its not much of a secret now that I am posting about it. Basically you want to do the same thing as a peacock, kind of. What I am not saying is to go out and get a rainbow suit, although that might work.

The art of peacocking is picking something out to wear that makes you stand out like a peacock. This in a sense will draw more women's attention to you. Instead of blending in with the crowd you stick out like a sore thumb. The point isn't to wear something obnoxious, nor is it to ACT obnoxious. Be yourself but wear something ridiculous.

Here are a few examples of men I have known who have done this to score tons of phone numbers, I have used some of these same ideas and received huge success. Like I mentioned finding your soul mate can be a numbers game, and the more numbers you have the better chance you have at finding her.

I knew this guy who wore a giant over-sized sombrero to a bar. This wasn't just a big hat, it was HUGE. Yeah it bumped into a few people but everyone noticed him. EVERYONE, that coupled with a sense of humor and a confident self allowed him to talk to dozens of women and get lots of phone numbers. Another example, go into a bar dressed in your pajamas (get a top AND a bottom), and wear underwear. Make sure it closes all openings your not out to be showing off your goodies, but just to be noticed. Another example is to wear bright or ornate colors to a place that normally has people wearing darker colors, such as a dance club.

This is the general idea, if you want me to expand more on it I will. But try to think of somethings you can could do. Just think about a peacock and let the ideas roll on how to be noticed VISIBLY, not audibly, it works wonders!

Find Soul Mate - Recap

Find Soul Mate - RECAP!

Here is a quick run down of everything you need to know BEFORE you go looking.

1st: Know what you are looking for!
The more specific the better. Keep the bar as high as you can it will prevent the chance of you finding someone that you aren't particularly happy with. Try to do everything, hair color and length, eye color, dress style, hobbies, drinking habits, smoking habits, social habits, and tastes in movies, food, entertainment. Be as specific as possible. It is GOOD to know EXACTLY what you want. It is also OK to deviate from the path. We don't always KNOW what or who our soul mate is going to be, so set a standard but don't shut your eyes!

2nd: Get out there! The only way to see and be seen is by getting out there!
The more places you look the more places you'll most likely run into your soul mate. This includes bars, clubs, social meetings, community gatherings, religious areas, and of course the internet. If you are skeptical you can join a bunch of internet sites for free just to browse, if you are a girl some sites let you send emails for free. So don't wait, GET OUT THERE!

3rd: Dress to Impress!
Move your slob self into the closet for your nights out. Pamper yourself and dress up. Make it a big deal, don't go overboard but dress to impress, not for business. Leave your neck ties at home. Make sure your cleanly shaven or trimmed, do your hair up nice, no "bad hair day" remains. Get your friends to tell you what looks nice or not, and if they say don't where that dress, THEN DO NOT WEAR IT. For men try peacocking! (its a type of style) Wear what others are not. If everyone is in darker colors, wear bright colors, or load colors. If everyone is loud and obnoxious then don't talk, bring a little pencil and write on napkins. Make a game of it. But make sure you look good and smell nice!

4th: Small Chat!
Don't be scared to talk. Open with an easy, always wins, one liner. Its called "hello my name is...". It is not aggressive, it is polite and confident. Most women will always respond to this, and men too. This is because it doesn't come off as cheesy or lame, its just putting yourself out there. This might be the first step you need. Then ask them what kind of things they like or how your day went. Do not, I REPEAT DO NOT just say what you think they want to hear. Everyone can pick this up real quick and it shows that you have no confidence at all. Just stick with your answers, just because you may not like the same things doesn't mean you aren't going to get along. So stay confident, talk, and don't "TRY" to be funny. You either are, or you are not. If you are not then don't TRY to be.

Good luck! I will continue to post little tid-bits as days go on to help you get motivated and to find your soul mate!

Find Soul Mate - Step Four Small Chat

Find Soul Mate - Step Four Small Chat
(It has come to my attention that apparently I did not make a step two.. go figure!)

Small chat is easier than you think. But for most people that find they come out with a complete blank when they finally getting around to a person they want to talk to!

How difficult, you have spent all this time getting warmed up, going out there, making sure your dress is appropriate and after you say "Hi my name is.." you draw a complete blank. I have found this comes from OVER thinking. Most people try to think of either a) something funny to say or b) something interesting to say. I have found is most people, and more women than men, WANT to talk about themselves. I have heard that men tend to talk about themselves a lot. So men, shut it! The best thing you can do is ask him/her how they are doing and, well if you are at a dance club ask them to dance, afterwards if they seem like the quite type mention something small about your day. Something along the lines of "I had a long day, I'm glad its over. How about you?" Anything to get things moving. Some people have no problem coming up with conversation topics while other people have no problem just continually rambling on. just make sure if you ARE talking for longer than 30 seconds that they are still interested!

If you need conversation starters just read the newspaper before you go out or watch the news for five minutes so that you have something to bring up. Once you can get your brain to start moving again I am sure you will not have a problem keeping up with or in a conversation. good luck!

Find Soul Mate - Step Three Impress without going Overboard

Find your Soul Mate: Step Three: Impress without going Overboard!

OK, so know we have to be OUT there to find our Soul Mate. We also know that we need to be ourselves. So what can we do about our first impression? Over dress/ under dress? Don't want to look like your loaded, but you also don't want to look like your poor.

This will mostly be geared towards men and less towards women, since women have small and large social networks that sometimes only focus on clothing while men tend NOT to talk about clothes when they are with their friends.

Some guys had joined the group of men called "metrosexual", and they have it mostly together so this might not be geared towards you either. For everyone else read on. I will keep it short and simple for some easy and quick tips without too much work.

First off: look CLEAN. If you want to Find you Soul Mate to what her/him to find you all grungy and covered in muck? So Shower AND shave, or trim if you are sporting a trendy beard or goatee. Do this maybe an hour or two before you go out, especially if its a Friday night. Do the best to get you work off of you.

Good now that we are all clean lets take sniff. Smell like shower? Or worse? Make sure you use deodorizer, everyone sweats so don't worry about anti-persperint. But try to find a deodorizer that smells nice and complements you. Despite what the commercials say a little is better than a lot! You don't want your Soul Mate over powered by your "scent."

OK onto our clothing. Check your wardrobe, do you have business casual type pants and shirt? go with those. Blue jeans ARE outdated and make you look like you care more about being lazy than impressive. make sure your dress pants are dark, preferably black, and go with a button down shirt that can over hang you pants. No tucking, wear a belt if your pants fit right or are too big. Don't forget to match your dress shoes with your pants. Its so easy, just look decent and comfortable. No neck ties, this is very important if you go clubbing, plus you don't want to look like you just came from a business meeting AND you don't want to over dress.. too much. In any case always check with where you are going for appropriate dress attire. Usually its OK to over dress a little from what the club standards are. This is usually a good idea.

Always remember to act casual and sometimes the best pick up line is "Hello, my name is.." It always works without sounding aggressive or cheesy. And remember if they aren't interested then you shouldn't be either. Move on!

Next Blog: Step Four: Small Chat!

Find Soul Mate - Step Two: Be Yourself?

Find you Soul Mate: Be yourself?

Where ever you go and who ever you ask, if you are looking for advice people will always tell you to "Be Yourself!" But we all know if that was all there was to it wouldn't we have our soul mate already? What we are really trying to say is be yourself when your happy!

The day to day yourself that is pained over being lonely, having a crappy job, and just trying to make it by is NOT the person you want to show. Show the you that is you when your happy, think of things you enjoy if you need a boost lift and most importantly don't worry about being yourself. Try to think only inwardly, how good you look, how good your feeling, and how much fun your having. Instead of wondering if you are making a fool of yourself or if that attractive person is looking at you.

People want to be with people who are fun, having fun, and simply enjoying themselves. They want to see that they can enjoy themselves around you because you are generally happy. Who really wants to be around the person who is always sad and mopey? NO-ONE! But if you are having a great time, even if its just by yourself, other people will want to come and join your party, without you having to ask them! This makes meeting new people a breeze.

Most people tend to "pretend" to be the person they think other people want them to be. This is a bad idea, especially if you get into a relationship with someone, eventually you will not be able to keep up the "act" and the real person will come out. This may not be a bad thing, but if the person you've been seeing fell in love with the "fake" you they may be hostile and even resistant to the real you. So get it right the first time, and just "Be yourself!"

Next Blog will be: How to impress without going overboard!